Someone just gave me a GREAT idea for a tattoo, how exciting!
And they don’t even know that they helped me think of it.
The older I get, the more unsatisfied I become with Christmas.
It’s one of those “Hallmark” holidays which urges people to spend money on things that they don’t need or things that other people don’t need nor want.
Christmas spending this holiday season is tipped to exceed $30 billion dollars!
Instead of giving a gift that someone needs or that the proceeds go to a charity, we give each other utter crap!
Even if the gesture is wonderful and warm and kind, chances are you have little use for the gift.
For children, it is different, kids will play with anything you give them and half the fun for a child is being given a present to unwrap.
For me, not so much.
Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for any gift I receive but I seem to attract a lot of things that I can’t use.
– Those bath bombs/moisturizing cream/make up makes my eczema break out something ferocious (In fact, a lot of make up and beauty products don’t agree with my skin, even some mascara seems to give me eczema on my eyelids)…
– And those tops you bought me are too small/pink/big/frilly/shiny/uncomfy/etc.
So this year, unless you are James or my parents, PLEASE do not get me anything!
Not even a Christmas card!
I feel bad when I have to put them in the recycling bin after keeping it for 3 years. (Question: Why do we keep gifts even though we don’t use them or can’t pass them on? Why can’t we throw away birthday cards or Christmas cards? Why do I feel terrible when I throw away a piece of cardboard with a picture of Santa on the front and simply “Merry Christmas Nat” written inside?)
Please don’t spend any money on me; OR if you REALLY have to, donate some money to the Two Cats Foundation!
So, because I am a poor uni student with -0 income, I shall address this year’s letter to Santa in order to get the things and only the things that I need.
Dear Mum and Dad,
For 2013, I need the following items:
– Vans, however, I think it’s okay, I think James is buying me a pair… Ok, so I don’t NEED a pair of new Vans but … I can’t think of a good excuse… I just want some plain ones… That’s a really poor excuse… ; OR
– a new pair of black Cheap Monday jeans, as you know, I show my crutch to the world because the zip is broken and the belt loops have ripped off, Cheap Monday’s are the only brand that fits my skinny legs…; OR
– money for a new bikini, my old ones are too small or faded and I want retro high waisted ones; OR
– a donation to the Two Cats Foundation (James’ Cambodia foundation); OR
– The Atheist’s Guide to Christmas, it’s a book by many authors, I can probably find it online though; OR
– A full tank-o petrol 😉
One of these things will be fine, you may choose the cheapest option.
– If you are not Santa please do not buy me anything.
Ugh, I sound so feral and stuck up and materialistic and greedy, but the thing is, these are the only things I can actually keep and use.
Also, this year, I have realized how utterly pointless putting a star on my Christmas tree is. I have always felt really awkward about it and about it’s symbolism.
Yes, Christmas is a joyous time and it is great to be with family but I’m starting to feel that some of the religious symbolism of Christmas won’t be missed on my tree if I don’t place it there.
This year I propose that I will put a Flying Spaghetti Monster on my tree, and, if that isn’t taken well by the family, I will put him up in my room.
He is very cute.